There was a strange sort of calm across the prairie and the moon was full and bright. You could hear the sound of buffaloes parping grazing and coyotes howling in the distance, a perfect evening for revitalising the soul.
Fortunately anipals, don’t care about things like that, so when the cranky WildThingFoxyLady arrived gal lumping galloping across to the camp fire, they had with them a vat pan of baked beans specially thrown together prepared with any old rubbish tender beans in a radioactive tomato sauce. Everyone enjoyed a huge plateful and some folks Mr Pie and Jaffa went back for seconds. From then on, they was a rootin and a tootin all night. Almost put the fire out.
It was the annual #powwow 2014 gathering of anipals all dressed as idiots cowboys and Indian coming together as fellow brethren, for a right good knees up cultural get together. Dogs, cats, turtles, birds, no end of peculiar lovely anipals getting drunk breaking bread and wind with each other and passing the nip pipe of peace around.
Songs were sung, games were played and in the nearby saloon a few folks joined in a game of strip poker. The Sheriff and his men were useless excellent at keeping the peace, being drunk watchful all evening and taking it in turns to read the good book to those unconscious folks in need.
The camp settled down to a good nights snoring & parping sleep all gathered around the camp fire, ending another ridiculous wonderful annual Powwow adventure.
All aboard! All aboard! shouted the captain of *The Scab*. The cut-throat crew staggered rushed onto the ship, fighting for a place at the bar front of the ship. The first one to spot Barnacle Bills island gets a knuckle sandwich bag of gold, shouted the first mate and first drink from the golden tankard.
The Golden Tankard was known to have the magical power of never running dry of rum and beer, which was the dream of every old soak sea-dog that had sailed the seven seas. Most of the crew had only been on a pedalo cargo boat, delivering coal fine goods around the world, so this was the adventure of a lifetime and a chance to get plastered rich.
Vast amounts of food and drink were hoisted aboard and within the hour, The Scab set sail with a soft and useless fierce and manly crew. The Scab sailed out of the harbour and everyone threw up started to sing in a nautical way and dance Ha! the sailors hornpipe.
Twas on the second day that someone shouted are we there yet? “There she be” and the crew jumped into the lifeboats and headed for shore,trying not to listen to the mercats racket songs and the snapping crocodiles. As the boats landed, dozens of sad old pirates stormed the island and fought their way to the cave full of old washing. There they found the Golden Tankard on top of a pile of treasure. A jolly good party was had by all, with many a Yo-Ho-Hos and several dozen bottles of rum.
The day was frosty and bright and all our Twitter pals elbowed their way assembled at the entrance to the cable car. Goblin and CatWeasel entered first, causing chaos as they both had an alpine horns with them to deafen serenade the skiers on the slopes. They gave us all a rendering of their latest racket yodelling song, which was truly amazing. (HA!!)
Conductor Puddy bored us ridged read Health and Safety regulations from cover to cover, then ushered everyone into the cars. With a little help from a cattle prod, he squeezed the last few in and safely close the doors.
Skis, picnics, snowboards and toboggans were quickly stashed away and a long rope was tied to the top of one of the cable cars for the bungee jump. Oh yes, the atmosphere was electric!
When the cable cars reached the halfway point, they came to a halt. This was the place that our well known portly feline, celebrity Mr Pie, very kindly agreed to do a bungee jump off the top of one of the gondolas. With the help of Conductor Puddy,the ropes were attached to his legs, while the blood thirsty mob onlookers cheered him on,with the shouts of, JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! After a moment of anxious anticipation, and a change of underwear, Mr Pie launched himself into the abyss, to roars of laughter, applauds.
Down, down, down, he went, until he gracefully disappeared into the snow with a loud SPLAT! It was at this point that Conductor Puddy, Health and Safety specialist, (Ha!!) first realised that the rope was not elastic and was definitely far too long. Oops!With a little help and hysterical laughter from some of his pals, Mr Pie was hauled back up onto the top of the cable car and given a large nip brandy. It was agreed by all, that he was a cranky old mog, jolly good sport and was presented with a gold medal for his efforts.
The cable cars continued to struggle up the mountain and at the top, everyone rushed out trying to be the first to ski down the mountain and get to the picnic waiting for them at the side of the wine lake.
All modes of transport were used, some folks even sliding down on their tongues to enable them to consume as much butter as possible. Santa’s Cat specialises in this, as butter is her favourite thing to eat in the world, that’s why she’s fat.
The picnic was welcomed by all, for as we know outdoor pursuits can make you extremely greedy hungry, as do, snoozing, tweeting, watching the clouds go by and daydreaming. The things that most anipals like best. A good time was had by all and there was much excitement as the next adventure was planned over a few glasses of wine and a large bag of pork scratchings.
The Haunted House Sleepover – #PanfurPawty is an event being held on Twitter to raise money for feral and domestic cats in need. Find out more and donate here. All donations make a difference, no matter how small 🙂
Haunted House Gallery…
Below are the brave guests coming to the haunted house sleepover so far. I hope they have a fearfully good time! To join us on Twitter, just use #PanfurPawty
Note to anipals from Twitter: If you can’t find your picture in the gallery, please tweet it to me by the 11th October 2013.
Thank you in advance for all your generosity, no matter how small. It’s greatly appreciated. – See more at: http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/haunted-house-panfurpawty-fun-draiser/91296#sthash.WQygbhcV.dpuf
It was a warm evening, when the passengers started to board the Orient Express…
Everyone was full of excitement at the prospect of a wonderful extravagant overland journey to Venice, dinning on Champagne and caviare and having a right good knees-up taking in the sights.
The voyagers were wearing the finest cloths that money could buy from Oxfam and the ladies were all wearing their most expensive jewellery from cash converters.
“ALL ABOARD!!” shouted the conductor waving his flag and when all the doors were shut, the train moved out of the station.
The Champagne cocktails began to flow and the passengers were plastered, enjoying themselves in no time. The ticket collector collected the tickets and a few wallets too and informed everyone that dinner would be burnt served shortly.
Slowly, staggering, the passengers moved towards the dinning car. Suddenly, there was a blood curdling scream. Everyone started laughing stopped in their tracks at the sight of a dead elf, collapsed on a seat by the window. In his hand was a half eaten apple. Several of the detectives on board examined the evidence and it was decided that somebody had poisoned him. WHO DUNNIT??
The elf was taken to the luggage car for further investigation. Meanwhile, having administered brandy to those that felt the need for it any excuse, dinner was served.
Following the terrible murder of the elf, everyone knocked back drinks in the bar speculated as to *WHO DUNNIT*. Then somebody screamed. The piano player, Jack Smarmy, staggered in with a knife sticking out of his chest and promptly collapsed. The famous trollop film star Dolores Diamond passed out drunk on the floor swooned, next to the corpse. (She knew him well!)
There was a deathly hush as everyone looked accusingly at each other, wondering who might be next.
The train raced into a tunnel. The lights went out. BANG! BANG! Two shots. As the train cleared the tunnel and the daylight flooded in… SHOCK. Another murder.
Sitting in a seat at the back of the lounge, a nosy little old lady known as Miss Marple lay dead, clutching her knitting. *WHO DUNNIT*!! The detectives on the train gathered around the two corpses and giggled tried to work out what the murders were all about. Their little grey cells were working overtime. Would they be able to find the killer before there was another murder?
Scroll down to find out…
Well, (takes a deep breath), to cut a long story short…
…it turns out that Mikey was on the train trying to find his long lost father. His adopted father, (the train driver), came face to face with an old flame, (Miss Marple), who unbeknown to him was the mother of Mikey thanks to a steamy affair with said train driver. She confessed that she had had a child by the train driver and put him up for adoption not knowing that the train driver and his wife adopted the boy, unaware that Mikey was the train driver’s real son. (Deep breath.) The train driver, who shall remain anonymous, (Mr Pie), took his revenge and when the train went into the tunnel he shot Miss Marple dead (or so he thought). She, like all true Brits, was wearing her very British Winter vest. The bullets bounced off her and straight out of the window. She soon recovered from the shock however, and had a large drink along with the rest of the drunken mob passengers.
(Takes another deep breath.)
It also turns out that the elf was not dead but had eaten himself into a coma, (greedy thing). He quickly came round as we arrived in Venice complaining that he was hungry. The piano player wasn’t dead either, but just thought he would liven things up a bit as nobody was paying any attention to his playing.
All in all, everyone had a good time and the people of Venice wondered what on earth was happening, as dozens of anipals got off the Orient Express and commandeered every gondola in Venice for a race along the canals.
Captain Wolfie Hook and his cut-throat band of pirates, set sail For Panfur Island, in search of buried treasure.
After a disastrous rocky start (due to the fact that everyone was plastered), the sails went up and there was a lot of waving of cutlasses and drinking of rum.
For all of five minuets months, they sailed the Seven Seas, fighting off killer whales, giant sharks and mermaids – a danger to all seafaring mogs.
Goblin set up camp in the crows nest to keep lookout for the island, while Pie spent a lot of time snoring in his hammock, in between consuming large quantities if rum and chips. He’s always had piggy gourmet taste. Then to everyone’s surprise, he walked the plank into shark infested waters. There’s no telling what some folk will do next!
“Help!” shouted the Tardis Toms, (who had been jigging in the rigging), “we’re stuck.”
After extracting the Tardis Toms from the rigging, Captain Wolfie gave the order to lower a longboat. Within seconds, dozens of mogs piled themselves three deep into the boat and headed for shore.
The moment the boat touched the beach they all jumped out and made sand castles plans to find the treasure. Captain Wolfie spread the map out on the sand and pointed to the big red cross saying, “There be the treasure, me hearty scabs!”
Within seconds, Lickrish, Lee, Dylan, Weasel and a few other members of the crew, dashed off carrying spades, (and Captain Wolfie), shouting “We’re gonna be rich! Finders keepers!” and disappeared into the jungle.
Mrs C and Mr Tibbs set up the BBQ on the beach, ready to celebrate finding the treasure and soon had a huge vat of chipsies on the go. Charlie chips and Jazzman entertained everyone with good music and a selection of pirate songs, while Tinkie consumed a vast small amount of rum. It was very strange, he seemed to be permanently covered in custard pies!!
The crew dug holes all over the place, until at last Wolfie’s spade hit something hard and there was a blood curdling scream as he pulled the spade out of Alba’s foot. “Oops, sorry about that, matey!”
Then suddenly, somebody shouted “I’ve found it!” There in the sand lay a huge chest, full to the brim with gold doubloons, sparkling in the sun. After a lot of fighting over the booty, Captain Wolfie waved his hook and insisted it was to be shared between everyone, or they’d get a taste of his hook! Then back to camp they went happily carrying their treasure.
On their return to camp, the marauding mogs drank vast quantities of ale and rum. The chip pan was filled over and over again and the BBQ was piled high with scrumptious food. A good time was had by all, it truly was a trip to remember!
Here is a gallery of a few of the rogues and scallywags:
What better thing to start with than Lottie’s birthday, which is not exactly an adventure for most of us, but has been an awfully big adventure for her.
A Special Evening for a Special Mog!
That was Deaf Lottie’s birthday banquet. A wonderful evening enjoyed by all, with a fabulous array of costumes. The food and drink was divine and so was the company! Well done!! Gorden (f****ing) Ramsay couldn’t have done better!!
Dear Lottie, being 18 years young, was on fine form and looked as beautiful as ever in her green silk evening gown. Almost royal!
LennyStaff turned up in a magnificent suit of gold armour, while Catweasel spoke in old English all evening and nobody could understand a word he said. They both looked great though!
Mia and Manu created chaos, (as usual), when the falcon they brought with them got loose. It dive-bombed the banqueting table, helped itself to a roast duck, then promptly flew out the window. Mikey chased after it on his old nag horse and managed to retrieve it undamaged! The falcon was last spotted this afternoon inside Ryker heading for the hills.
Charlie Chips looked absolutely spiffing, with his trusty canine steed (very novel that!!) Betsy Blue Eyes also did her duty, plying copious amounts of sherry to Lottie, (purely medicinal) to boost her energy, as she was having difficulty keeping up with her incoming tweets. A job well done I think!
My thanks to Tinkie, for allowing me to smash him in the face with a custard pie and to Zoby, (stunning in her little red dress), for receiving a pie in her face with such dignity. Well caught!
The splendiferous outfits that adorned The Tardis Toms was a vision to behold. They were eager to tell all that, “In Tudor times when they had no telly, folks would amuse themselves with Blood! Death! and Rumpy-Pumpy!“
Mr Pie arrived, riding (ha!) his trusty steed. Festooned with swords, daggers and all sorts of other rubbish things bestowed on a noble cat. After dismounting, (falling on his butt), he led Lottie into the banqueting hall where she declared the Banquet officially open!
Lottie had hardly finished saying “open” when the guests descended like a plague of locusts and stripped the table of its contents. I personally, have never seen a table so full of food devoured so quickly. It was a pleasure to behold and made me proud to be a cat!!
WheezyGob entertained everyone with deafening unbelievable yodelling from dear Goblin and ukulele playing from Catweasel, their dulcet tones ricocheting across Twitter.
With a little encouragement, (couldn’t hold her back), Lottie led her guests in a birthday Conga, followed by the Time Warp to everyone’s delight, finishing off with the hokey cokey. A good time was had by all!